Ellie Heller

Zombie Limericks

The other day a certain madness over took me and I couldn’t shake it loose. Limericks were popping out left and right. Some admittedly awful, but some not-too-bad. But, no matter which they were, they were NOT stopping.

Unsurprisingly, given how lesbian vs zombie stories are on my mind, they started showing up in my efforts. So, here for your entertainment are some of my, dare I say it?, finer efforts. I’ve included a couple of non-zombie but lesbian ones too.

Please let me know what you think. Or if you have any of your own (original work!) to share, post them in the comments. Let’s see how distracted we can keep Ruby.

No, wait, on second thought no limericks in the comments. Nope, nope, nope, nope. Do NOT want to distract Ruby any more than real life already is. Right? We really want her to be writing that last installment.

Oh, alright, you can post a couple, but it’ll be on YOUR head if the ending of The Night The Zombies Stepped Out In Georgia gets delayed again.

Just sayin’.

In the mean time, my efforts for your enjoyment.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A zombie when down on his luck
Said ‘man do I need a good fuck
Of course, I’m undead
So it should be said
I may leave my junk in your trunk.’

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A Zombie once refused to eat
Neither flesh, nor bones nor red meat
because what would happen
when she went a crappin
she’d leave half her ass on the seat.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There once was a shy college lass
Whose teacher did make her a pass
Their music filled nights
held sapphic delights
Until zombies invaded en masse.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There once was a zombie from Maine
Who often lamented, her refrain:
Gals they excite me
Until they ignite me
Making sex a bit of a pain

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There once was a gal from St. Ike
Who wouldn’t touch a stiff pike
The guys would flaunt ’em
and she would taunt them
“I’m saving my love for a dyke.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

An Amazon has quite a trick
in choosing her battle mate chick
A lass with fine hands
Is in much demand
But more so a tongue which is thick

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ellie Heller, aka EllieWrites2, writes stories tingling with magic, romance and suspense. You can find her blog on her writing journey here where currently more limericks reside, or follow her on twitter @ EllieWrites2

One Response to Ellie Heller

  1. Pingback: Zombie Limericks | Lesbians vs Zombies from Noble Romance

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